I think one of the worst feelings is not being wanted by the one you love. Yet, you try to deny it. You’re putting your hopes up by remembering the slightest signals he gave you.
And it fucks you up every time: knowing he doesn’t love you but not accepting it.
If you are going to fall in love with me, It’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, and my tendency to jump to conclusions. You fall in love with my troubled past, my unrealistic hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and my perception that nobody could ever love me.
But you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing is that you’ll be falling in love with who I am. And I hope that’s enough for you, I really do
If she’s too good for you, my God, don’t leave her. Make an effort to be good enough instead.
A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life.
Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.
krystals04world 